DIVORCE
- This angle sucks so goddamn bad.
- Lana is not doing well in this promo, but the shitty storyline almost predicates shitty acting.
- Rusev is so sarcastic about everything.
- He wants a match with Lana's HOT BOYFRIEND. He goes to sign the papers.
- Bobby Lashley comes out to confront Rusev, and says he's going to marry Lana.
- Rusev says that Lashley doesn't want that at all and kind of tries to talk him out of it.
- Lashley attacks and the two fight one another. They end up back inside the ring, where Rusev hits a belly-to-belly suplex on Lashley through a table. Yeehaw.
Drew McIntyre defeated Matt Hardy
N/A (Short)
- Drew McIntyre brings up Matt Hardy having a child, and says it's crosseyed so you know it's his.
- Drew criticizes Matt for some of his decisions in the past. He gives Matt the chance to walk away.
- Instead, a Twist of Fate hits.
- We go to a commercial and see Drew hit a Future Shock DDT and a Claymore to end it.
WWE Raw Tag Team Championships
The Viking Raiders (c) defeated Street Profits
5.5/10
- Viking Raiders have an open challenge, and Street Profits answer. Cool.
- Erik hits the corner and gets frog splashed. He's almost beaten right out of the gate.
- Montez and Ivar do a floor routine.
- Angelo Dawkins get a little bit of shine.
- Montez Ford takes an insane Viking Experience. His looks more incredible than ever.
- Seth Rollins interrupts and says he has something to take care of. Viking Raiders and Street Profits leave and Samoa Joe says he would have handled that differently.
Owens and AOP
Angle 7.75/10
- Kevin Owens says he knows AOP attacked him because Seth Rollins told them too. He's going looking for them.
- Rey Mysterio says his homie has Kevin Owens' back. It's a pipe.
- Owens sees Mojo Rawley, who trolls him. Owens smacks him really hard. Mojo has great delivery.
- Rollins is in the ring, and calls out AOP. Instead, he gets Kevin Owens. AOP pulls up at that time, and Rollins is trying to convince him he isn't related to AOP showing up.
- Owens calls out AOP, who had appeared on the screen.
- Sami Zayn is here, and says he got around the brand split by getting a managerial license. He tries to reason with Owens and asks him to apologize to Mojo Rawley.
- Rawley is mad about all of this. He gets a Stunner and beaten with a pipe. Sami Zayn leaves.
- Owens finds the van AOP arrived in, but they attack and kick his ass.
- Rollins reveals himself in the van and Stomps Owens.
- Even though Owens perpetually gets his ass kicked, he hasn't been made to look dumb and that goes a long way. He knew Rollins was in on it all along, he just couldn't beat up three dudes at once.
- Seth Rollins comes out and says he had nothing to do with AOP. He did everything right and worked his ass off and everyone says he was a liar.
- He's not happy with the crowd or Owens, he says until tonight, he had nothing to do with AOP.
- Rollins says he's pushing back. Now he's standing with AOP, This promo kicked ass!
- Kevin Owens is being carted off in an ambulance.
Aleister Black defeated Akira Tozawa
6/10
- An in-set Buddy Murphy promo runs. He's facing Aleister this weekend.
- I loved the quick counter from the chinlock by Aleister Black.
- Black's arm drags rule. So does him catching Tozawa with a knee and Joe loving it.
- Everything about Black vs. Tozawa ruled. Great, quick reversals, crisp strikes, amazing selling and good commentary.
- Black Mass wins with a KO sell. Perfect.
Humberto Carrillo defeated Andrade (w/ Zelina)
4.75/10
- Prayer circle time. Please don't but Humberto over Andrade. They argue backstage and a match is set up.
- Carrillo takes a great back body drop, and after a few minutes uncorks his great offenses.
- Andrade looks like a dumbass hanging around while Humberto jumps to the rope, top rope, post, then to the floor.
- Humberto looks just as dumb holding onto the ropes for the double stomp.
- Carrillo hits a dogshit bad Aztec Press and eats a back elbow.
- Andrade runs into Zelina and walks into a Victory Roll.
- Nope. Don't like that at all. Going with the guy who they hope will be good, but hasn't been yet instead of the guy who has been good for a long time and was gaining momentum.
- I do not see it with Humberto right now. Bad spots, missed spots, not good.
- Andrade argues with Zelina.
Backstage Crappenings
- Liv Morgan is getting a makeover soon, after months away.
- We see a Street Profits Weekend Update. Okay?
Buddy Murphy defeated Zack Ryder (w/ Curt Hawkins)
5/10
- Heavy strikes kick things off.
- Zack Ryder sends Murphy outside the ring with a Broski Boot.
- Murphy attacks Hawkins, and takes advantage by finishing off Ryder with a knee and Murphy's Law.
Becky Lynch defeated Kabuki Warriors via DQ
5.75/10
- Charlotte says she doesn't like Becky, but likes the Kabuki Warriors less.
- Becky Lynch has lots of steam for her entrance.
- There's some good back and forth action.
- The crowd loves the DDT/reverse DDT combo from Becky Lynch. It's been eight months and she's still over big time.
- Becky misses a leg drop and gets put in the Asuka Lock. Becky then applies one of her own.
- Kairi hits a Doomsday Forearm with Asuka.
- Becky plants Asuka with a sloppy uranage, but Asuka pulls Kairi out of the DisarmHer
- The way I'd do it is have Charlotte/Becky face Kabuki Warriors (either in a tables match or TLC match), Kabuki Warriors win, then build off the fact that Asuka has Becky's number all the way to Royal Rumble. I'd imagine that's the direction they're going. They've set it up well.
- Well, I'm wrong.
- And the first way that Becky Lynch beats Asuka.....................is via DQ in a handicap match on Monday Night Raw. Like, why not have Kabuki Warriors win via countout and then attack?
- At least Kairi Sane put her through a table.
- Charlotte is checking on a frustrated Becky Lynch in the trainer's room. Kabuki Warriors attack Charlotte and leave her laying.
- They challenge Becky and Charlotte to challenge them. They do, but it's a TLC match.
Erick Rowan crushes jobber via DQ
SQUASH
- The jobber runs and grabs the bag and runs it to the top of the ramp.
- He's trying to get a countout, but Rowan realizes it. This ruled.
- Iron Claw slams -- three of em. The ref calls a stop.
- I'm glad a referee stoppage precedent is set. A chokeslam hits after.
WWE United States Championship
Rey Mysterio (c) defeated AJ Styles
5.75/10
- I need a stem cell sponsor I swear to god. Rey Mysterio does an incredible Asai moonsault.
- Mysterio barely makes it back in before the countout after a commercial. The OC are out.
- Rey does a great sunset flip wallbomb as Joe calls it.
- Rey takes out The OC, but walks into an Ushigoroshi.
- There's a nasty looking Super Styles Clash attempt, and a powerbomb hits instead.
- Orton slides in the ring and winks at Styles. Rey small packages AJ with NO TIME LEFT in the show.
- The show goes off the air before the winner is announced.
Rating guide
10- Perfect, 9- MOTY Territory, 8- Excellent, 7- Great, 6- Good, 5- Average to above average, 4- Slightly below average, 3 or below: Poor
Each match starts at a 5 and slides up and down based on entertainment, execution, time, environment, reaction and stakes. The ratings are in no way an indication of a "star rating," which is a completely different system. A standard, non-offensive "TV match" lands at a 5. The gap between 5.75-6 is generally the largest, with anything reaching 6 being recommended viewing.
These are opinions, and incredibly inconsistent ones that may change upon a second viewing, or sitting on the match for a period of time. Don't take them too seriously, and have (and share) your own!
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