Welcome to another edition of
OFF-TRACK with A-TRAIN
where I report on ex-wrestlers
making wild accusations
with only circumstantial evidence
to back up their claims,
and try to make jokes about it
in this episode
RYBACK THINKS HARDBODY MAHAL
IS ON THE JUICE, YO
We've all heard the jokes, the veiled accusations, the whispers turned into shouts, decrying the transformation of Jinder Mahal into Hardbody Mahal as something nefarious and less than pure.
"Jinder's on Steroids!," we hear. But aside from his inhumanly vascular physique, there's no real evidence to support the whispers, or the shouts.
Well, we here at OFF-TRACK with A-TRAIN are not in the business of making wild assumptions.
But Ryback is, so we'll let him do that.
On a recent episode of his podcast, "Conversations With The Big Guy," Ryback talked about Hardbody's new hard body, and the telltale signs that he says clearly point to an abuse of the juice.
For one, Ryback pointed out Mahal's obvious case of Gynecomastia, which of course is the swelling of breast tissue from the excessive aromatization of testosterone,often caused by anabolic steroids.
Ryback doesn't call it Gynecomastia, however. He calls it "Tits"
“Speaking of tits, who I noticed had tits this week on RAW, Jinder Mahal. I noticed… they did a close up of his f*cking chest and I just noticed it right away. I’ve never had that or anything because I don’t… like, there’s no reason to. When you get gyno, red flags right off the f*cking bat.”
Can I just pause to say that I haven't listened to the whole podcast, and I kind of don't want to know whose tits Ryback was talking about before he made the segue into talking about Jinder. "Speaking of tits," indeed.
Anyway, The Big Guy continued:
“Jesus Christ, that shit don’t happen on its own. And I like Jinder and whatnot and he looks great, but I am pointing out the obvious, that that doesn’t just f*cking happen from f*cking drinking your protein shake.”
I mean, with all due respect, Ryback, there could be a LOT of protein in that shake. You don't know.
But, fair enough, I'm willing to entertain your theory. Let's look at the photographic evidence.
Hmm. Can't tell yet. That might be Gynecomastia, but it might not.
Could I see some more photos please?
Okay. That's enough.
I am able to render my verdict.
While I do see some signs of Gynecomastia, it's hardly enough to be considered "a smoking gun."
I can now determine, exclusively here at Fightful.com, that Jinder "Hardbody" Mahal has clearly had his blood replaced with a thousand writhing garter snakes.
I'm just pointing out the obvious.