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MONDAY NIGHT RAW
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For my thoughts on Gold-dad vs Lesnar
(with the benefit of a night's sleep),
plus a FULL PREVIEW OF TONIGHT
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Here's a little preview of the preview:
THERE F*CKING BETTER BE.
HERE WE GO, Y'ALL.
In-Ring Segment with The Gold-Father.
The Goldberg chants are deafening as he makes his way through the backstage area.
His jacket looks remarkably light, like something you'd wear on a late summer evening out.
So that's something new.
Goldberg starts by thanking the crowd for giving him the ability to be Goldberg again.
He thanks his wife and his (surprisingly not currently shirtless) son.
He says he did what he said he was going to do, and that's conquer the beast.
But he says all good things must come to an end.
"No" chants from the crowd.
But he says he ran into Stephanie McMahon and she told him he did have another spear, another Jackhammer, another ass kicking left him in.
And she also asked him if he had one more title run left in him?
He says "you beat your ass."
Says Steph told him that the road to that Title Match is through the Royal Rumble.
Says "At the Royal Rumble Match, EVERYONE is NEXT!"
Okay, even I thought that was pretty cool.
But don't give up hope haters, there's still tons of time left for them to screw this up.
The New Day vs Shea-saro
Tag Championship Match
The New Day come out and put over Demolition's record Tag Team reign, and how in 23 days they will surpass it.
They're being characteristically cocky about everything, but it seems like the WWE might really pull the trigger tonight and take the strap off them.
This one starts out hot, with Big E and Cesaro first. Cesaro caught Big E in a crossbody and turned it into a powerslam.
A few tags in and out later, Kofi reverses a monkeyflip and lands on his feet, then Cesaro does the same on a Kofi monkey-flip attempt.
On the outside, Sheamus throws Kofi forehead first into the ringpost.
Back from the break and Sheamus is attempting a double-axe-handle from the top rope but Kofi nails him in the teeth with a dropkick.
Sheamus hits the Irish Curse backbreaker, then a strong right hand.
Kofi ducks a charging Sheamus, who blasts Cesaro off the apron.
Kofi tags Big E, who hits three consecutive Belly to Bellies.
Kofi hits a cross body off the ringsteps to Cesaro on the outside.
Big E hits a Big Splash for 2, then Sheamus nails White Noise.
Kofi and Cesaro in, Kofi goes for a top rope crossbody, caught by Cesaro into a tiltawhirl backbreaker.
Kofi hits an SOS.
Kofi goes for Trouble in Paradise, caught by Cesaro. BIG SWING.
Like for thirty seconds.
Cesaro steps through into a Sharpshooter.
Sheamus nails Big E on the outside.
Sharpshooter in the middle of the ring now.
Xavier Woods up on the apron, playing a trombone, ref distracted.
Kofi taps, ref doesn't see it.
Cesaro releases the hold to get the ref to do his damn job, and Kofi rolls up Cesaro.
WINNERS: Cheating-ass New Day.
Backstage interview with Chris Jericho
He says that Team Raw lost because someone destroyed The List, and tonight, on the Highlight Reel, he'll tell the world who's to blame.
Jeri-KO is going the way of Brangelina and I am heartbroken.
If these two kids can't make it, what hope is there for the rest of us?
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