DIGGIN' HOLES
- The Undertaker shows up and says ALLEN JONES, since they're getting real.
- He calls AJ a big fish in a little pond and he knew he couldn't hang with a whole bunch of people.
- That line is completely full of shit. It's one of those lines that's so ridiculous that it doesn't even work in a promo, and only an idiot would say it with a straight face.
- Add in that AJ Styles is mad about the FAITHBREAKER and Michelle McCool getting it over. The promo is comical in how ridiculous it is. It's like they asked Undertaker to say all the things that some rando on Twitter thought they could dislike each other for.
- Taker tells AJ to bring Anderson and Gallows.
- I swear to god an internet troll wrote Undertaker's promo.
Becky and Baszler
- Becky Lynch shows up in a semi truck, and introduces us to her main event match from WrestleMania last year.
- Afterwards she says she doesn't know who she is without the title, but a lot of people have tried to take it from her.
- She thinks Baszler is trying to get out of Rousey's shadow, and this is the only way she can do it.
- Baszler shows up and chokes out Becky and slams her face on the announce table before power swinging her into it.
Aleister Black defeated Jobber
SQUASH
- Aleister sits down and for some reason the jobber is like "WHAT'S HE DOING?" Sitting down like he's done every week forever, bro!
- Black Mass. Pin
Kevin Owens & Street Profits defeated Angel Garza, Austin Theory & Seth Rollins (w/ Zelina)
6/10
- Zelina says Andrade injured his ribs, and will be replaced by Austin Theory. Vince McMahon is going to like him a lot.
- Owens attacks Theory right out of the gate. This is a huge leap for Theory.
- Montez drives his knees into Theory HARD on an assisted moonsault.
- Angelo is on a roll, but does a move very similar to Braun mowing people down outside.
- Kevin Owens calls Seth Rollins a bitch. Rollins avoids Owens at all costs.
- Ford absolutely eats shit on a dive over the top.
- Owens does a Swanton, but the pin is broken up.
- Owens hits Garza with a Stunner for the win. Rollins stomps him after the match though.
- Kevin Owens cuts a promo, and It is almost intimidating how well Kevin Owens talks shit in his SECOND LANGUAGE.
- Owens says Seth Rollins has always been counterproductive and calls him a DIPSHIT.
- This Kevin Owens promo is good. He says he's done almost everything that Rollins did, but he'll admit he didn't do them on his own. Rollins won't admit it.
- Owens clarifies that Saturday their match happens. I can't properly summarize this promo, but it's one of the best in WWE this year. Owens knocked it out of the park.
Edge
- Edge says everyone in wrestling is a junkie for the crowd.
- Randy Orton is at his best, and the last time he was at his best, Edge was around.
- Edge says Orton is a junkie for how Edge makes him feel.
- Edge goes on a little long, but this is yet another good WWE promo from the Performance Center.
Asuka defeated Kayden Carter
SQUASH
- I'm glad someone has fallen in love with Asuka's promos, because I enjoy it every week.
- For as much shit as I gave the latest shakeup and brand split at first, WWE has limited most of the NXT integration to Raw. That makes sense with both on USA.
- Kayden Carter gets a kick in, but gets suplexed and tapped out.
- Asuka gets on commentary and cuts a promo on commentary.
- Weird to even have the commentators there.
Other stuffs
- Rhea Ripley gets jumped and kicked into a door by Charlotte Flair.
Heyman and Lesnar
- Heyman mentions that this is the most unique WrestleMania.
- He says Drew McIntyre is special, but so is everyone else that Brock beat in his big matches. The same goes for the Claymore.
- This was some of Paul Heyman's best work in recent memory.
- He says he'll be right back here in the go home segment of next year's WrestleMania Raw, doing the same thing.
Rating Guide
10- Perfect, 9- MOTY Territory, 8- Excellent, 7- Great, 6- Good, 5- Average to above average, 4- Slightly below average, 3 or below: Poor
Each match starts at a 5 and slides up and down based on entertainment, execution, time, environment, reaction and stakes. The ratings are in no way an indication of a "star rating," which is a completely different system. A standard, non-offensive "TV match" lands at a 5. The gap between 5.75-6 is generally the largest, with anything reaching 6 being recommended viewing.
These are opinions, and incredibly inconsistent ones that may change upon a second viewing, or sitting on the match for a period of time. Don't take them too seriously, and have (and share) your own!
